you're going to wish these days hadnt gone by so fast

What is it about night time? It's like as soon as the sun goes down...and it gets quiet... all the thoughts that i've managed to tuck away the entire day come tumbling out. Honestly...it blows!
I just want to be calm and at peace...24/7...that would rock :)
I want to be stronger with my emotions...either let it all out and move on...or keep it tucked away for good.


.......and thoughts of Jordan Makanani...
I miss her so freaken much! I just want to see her one more time! Dreams are just not enough anymore.
I hope she's looking down and smiling..omg...her smile? only the best  :)
i miss how simple life was when we were friends...
how we sat together on the school bus :) we grew up together..and its like a WHOLE freaken piece of me... is dead and gone.. all those memories...are gone...and only i have the ones that i managed to store away...not nearly enough...


Why is it that everyone i care about...goes away


between the end of 7th grade and up to now i feel like i've been kicked in the ass and forced to grow up.
I've lost all my grandparents whom 2 were like actual parents while i was growing up!
I've lost good friends..
my first crush EVER died
my shows have been cancled
my bands have broken up
my bio father has abandoned my family and I
 and my true love gave up on me...because i suck and dont know when to let things go.


What's the point in the word "trust" or "hope"
everyone dies
everyone lets you down
everything comes to an end...


I miss you SO much Jordan!
I'd give anything to see you just one more time <3